Afternoon Crumbs
March 30, 2018
After Orlando Bloom posted a picture of his nipples on Instagram, his on-and-off-and-on-again piece Katy Perry left this comment: “Oh hey! I was actually looking for a washboard to do me laundry on.” Whenever I see the words “Orlando Bloom” and “board” in the same story, my brain immediately takes me back to those beautiful pictures of him paddleboarding peen-out. And now if you’ll excuse me, I have to Photoshop a tiny and naked paddleboarding Orlando Bloom onto his abs in that picture – Just Jared
Something tells me that the teen who broke her retainer from thirsting over Michael B. Jordan is going to have to make another dentist appointment after breaking her replacement retainer from thirsting over him in sweats – Lainey Gossip
Um, Kandi Burruss is cheap. She should’ve gotten Mama Joyce a chauffeured Bentley for being the sole reason for why she’s asked back onto Real Housewives of Atlanta every season – Reality Tea
Brandi Glanville claims that her top lip is paralyzed because of some laser hair removal gone wrong. If by “laser hair removal gone wrong,” she means “too much fucking Botox,” then yeah, that makes sense – Celebitchy
Tyler the Creator wants to be Timothee Chalamet’s peach – PinkNews
Corey Feldman’s either got the world’s smallest knife wound, or he was stabbed with a syringe, or his attacker was a mosquito who really didn’t like The Lost Boys – SOW
Okay, but why does Lady Gaga sound like Walter Cronkite in her cover of Elton John’s Your Song? – Towleroad
I always figured that whoever was behind Ren & Stimpy was crazy, but apparently he’s crazy and an alleged predator – Jezebel
Two things: 1. Kendall Jenner’s messy closet is totally a set up for her to get a makeover on KHLO-C-D. And 2. I just repeatedly punched myself in the head for knowing what KHLO-C-D is – Hollywood Tuna
And since we started this Good Friday Crumbs with a hot serving of man nipples, let’s end with a hot serving of man nipples. It’s what Jesus would want – OMG Blog
Pic: Instagram